Trying to help out Raejay with specific sites for your friend there are many sites to choose from, some below, but for yourself-being a Messianic Jew myself and homeschooling my jewish children-there are actually Messianic Jewish sites available. And Naomi is right about community to raise them in is historically very encouraging and supportive (and her sites sound great too!), but, also historically in this diaspora sometimes you find yourself alone geographically and as a Messianic we do the best we can, but find others and have fellowship when you can, as Naomi wisely recommended. Remember, it all starts at home anyway( Deut. 6:1-9). Back to topic, do not hesitate to use conservative/orthodox sites as well. We do both. Following the Scripture to directly Glorify HaShem (as Adonai echad) from the heart, learning hebrew, and preserving heritage is what we are looking for. They are more interchangable than people think. In my experience ( and many others) the material desired to be used by Messianics is closer to the conservative/orthodox approach than the Reform/reconstructructionist approach even within rabbinical judaism itself, considering their differences in approach to the Scripture and devotion. YOu still have to basicly bring it together yourself but these sites have been useful for us( and you can "google" messianic jewish homeschool and jewish homeschool and blend from there according how The Ruach moves you), so just a few:
http://ffoz.org/ (they have a children's torah curriculum)
http://homeschoolinformation.com/Approaches/heart_of_wisdom. htm(for the latter elementary student and good reading/helps for hebrew roots if you're a gentile)
As for the ADHD/ADD, which one is it? They're two different behaviors. Read up on nutritional deficiencies in the brain, food selection, and herbal and/or homeopathics remedies. That is our path. If it's more ADHD type, your child is probably kinesthetic as their main learning style so incorporate movement and high sensory ways in their learning, and find out their other styles to create balance. In my opinion, it helps not to give the child a label for themselves for it can create a crutch. Don't forget good old-fashioned discipline for learning self-control and ways to fuction in this world, to function in this world, since it doesn't revolve around us! Consistancy and routine are vital. And first before all-PRAY! Adonai will lead you.
Hope this helps and doesn't offend,