Dear Homeschool.com readers,
As a home school parent, have you ever heard, "I hate math!" or "This is
boring!" or "Why do I always have to do school?" or "This is too
hard."?
Do your kids ever move so slowly on their assignments that you have to
compare them to stationary objects to see if they are moving?
Have you ever heard, "I'm not doing that!"?
Sadly, far too many home school parents find themselves mired in un-winnable
power-struggles over learning...battles that damage the parent-child
relationship, result in further resistance to learning, and steal joy.
There's good news! With some practical tips from the
Love and
Logic Institute, you can enjoy more cooperative kids while
building a life-long love of learning:
- Prevent resistance by providing plenty of choices
within limits.
Only give choices that will make you happy regardless of what
your child decides. For example:
Do you want to work on math first or reading first?
Would you like to do the odd problems or the even ones?
Would you like to read sitting down or standing up?
Do you want a break now or in five minutes?
Are you going to read this book or this one?
Learn more tips on this subject from our CD:
Avoiding Power Struggles with Kids.
- When your child gets resistant, allow them to
learn by refusing to.
Most people admit that they've learned the most powerful
lessons in life by making mistakes and experiencing the consequences.
The Love and Logic approach urges parents to remember that the same goes
for kids. Is it smart to spend time forcing them to make good
choices? Might it be wiser to pray that they make plenty of poor ones
when the consequences are still small?
Refusing to do an assignment can serve as a more important life lesson
than the content of the assignment. That is, as long as we provide
loving consequences.
The next time your child gets resistant, experiment with walking away
from the table and saying:
I love you too much to fight with you about
schoolwork. I'll be happy to help when I see that you want to learn.
Learn more tips on this subject from our DVD:
Hope for Underachieving Kids.
- Allow empathy and logical consequences to do the
teaching.
If your child chooses to goof off instead of doing their work, jump
for joy. Far better that this happens now than in college or when
they're an adult!
The key is to deliver consequences in such a genuinely loving and
empathetic way that they're forced to be angry with themselves instead
of you. For example:
This is so sad. You didn't do your work this morning. I allow
kids to play with their friends when I see that they've worked hard
on their learning.
Oh, honey. I would love to buy you that. The sad thing is that I
buy extra things for kids who act respectful and stick with things
when they get challenging.
Learn more tips on this subject from our CD:
Keeping Cool When Parenting Heats Up.
- Build them up in their strengths.
Kids who make a lot of mistakes also need to experience
plenty of success. That's why it's so important to encourage them to
spend time and energy on their strengths. Celebrating their successes
cements the parent-child relationship and gives them the courage to tackle the tough
stuff!
Learn more tips on this subject from our CD:
Shaping Self Concept.
Thanks for letting us share some skills that have changed our lives with
our own strong-willed kids! We hope they're a blessing to you and your
family. Check out our website,
loveandlogic.com, or call us
at 1.800.338.4065 for more ideas about raising respectful, responsible and
motivated kids.
Warm Regards,
Charles and Monica Fay
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