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Reservations about homeschooling

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kristanashley View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kristanashley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Reservations about homeschooling
    Posted: 11/Dec/2012 at 11:52am
Kindergarten is fast approaching  and I am considering homeschooling my 4 yo, however, I have a lot of reservations. I grew up a public school kid, but my husband was homeschooled, so I am weighing my options. I made a list of concerns for public and homeschooling, and I know it's long, but if you have a few minutes, I would love some valuable insight. Thank you so much!

My concerns for homeschooling:

I don’t want Lily to feel like an outsider.

I don’t want Lily to think she is better than other kids.

I don’t want Lily to fear the world.

I want Lily to have friends.

I want Lily to have exposure to fun extra-curricular activities.

I want Lily to feel friendly competition.

I want Lily to know that she can make a positive difference in the lives of others.

I don’t want Lily to feel trapped.

I don’t want a chaotic life.

I don’t know if I have the perseverance.

I don’t know if it’s fair to condemn the school system without trying it.

I want Lily to find her place in the world outside of our family.

I want Lily to be happy.

My concerns for public school:

The teacher won’t be able to meet all of her needs with all of the other kids to look after.

Lily will be bored and won’t meet her full potential.

Lily’s education will be limited to the state curriculum.

It’s such a long day to sit still and be quiet.

I don’t want Lily exposed to negative talk and negative behaviors.

I don’t want Lily to be overlooked.

Lily’s safety is no longer in my hands.

I don’t want other kids or teachers to lead Lily to make bad choices.

I don’t want Lily to base her self-worth on others.

I don’t know if it’s fair to say no to homeschooling without trying it

I want Lily to be happy.

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elliemaejune View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote elliemaejune Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12/Dec/2012 at 5:08pm
Originally posted by kristanashley kristanashley wrote:

My concerns for homeschooling:

I don’t want Lily to feel like an outsider.

I don’t want Lily to think she is better than other kids.

I don’t want Lily to fear the world.

I want Lily to have friends.

I am puzzled as to why you think that being homeschooled would make your dd feel like an outsider, that she is better than other kids, or that she would fear the world. Confused

Quote I want Lily to have exposure to fun extra-curricular activities.

Why wouldn't she be exposed to fun extra-curriculars?

Quote I want Lily to feel friendly competition.

Do you imagine that schools allow for "friendly competition"?

Quote I want Lily to know that she can make a positive difference in the lives of others.

Why wouldn't homeschooling help her to know this?

Quote I don’t want Lily to feel trapped.

As opposed to feeling trapped in a classroom environment where she has no choices at all, where she could easily be bullied on a daily basis, and where the teacher is someone who has to make choices for all 20-30 children as opposed to just a couple?

Quote I don’t want a chaotic life.

And homeschooling would be chaotic because....?

Quote I don’t know if I have the perseverance.

Yeah, as parents we've all felt that way, even parents who send their children to school.  Smile

Quote I don’t know if it’s fair to condemn the school system without trying it.

Why is choosing to teach your child at home automatically condemning public school? Although really, we have at least two generations of public school attendees who will gladly tell you why public schools should be condemned...

Quote I want Lily to find her place in the world outside of our family.

Does she need to do that when she's only a young child? Isn't her family the best place to nurture her and give her confidence, so that she'll be ready to find her place in the world when she's older?

Quote I want Lily to be happy.

We all want that for our children. Why would she be less happy as a homeschooler?

Quote My concerns for public school:

The teacher won’t be able to meet all of her needs with all of the other kids to look after.

Lily will be bored and won’t meet her full potential.

Lily’s education will be limited to the state curriculum.

It’s such a long day to sit still and be quiet.

I don’t want Lily exposed to negative talk and negative behaviors.

I don’t want Lily to be overlooked.

Lily’s safety is no longer in my hands.

I don’t want other kids or teachers to lead Lily to make bad choices.

I don’t want Lily to base her self-worth on others.

I don’t know if it’s fair to say no to homeschooling without trying it

I want Lily to be happy.


There you go. Smile
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kristanashley View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kristanashley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13/Dec/2012 at 9:30pm
First of all, I want to apologize if my post rubbed you the wrong way - I didn't mean to sound offensive. Let me clarify.

I don't want Lily to feel like an outsider.

All of her cousins and neighborhood friends will be public schoolers. Most kids' books and movies revolve around school. I just don't want her to feel like she's on the outside looking in when she's with her cousins or neighbors. She already loves the idea of school and I don't want her to feel like she's missing something.

I don't want Lily to think she is better than other kids.

I know that this mostly depends on me and what I teach my kids - but I have met a lot of homeschoolers (mostly homeschool parents) who feel that they are more intelligent, more moralistic, and all around superior to the public school kids, who are all mindless sheep with ambitions that extend only to how many facebook friends  they have. (I have actually heard that just about verbatim).

I don't want Lily to fear the world.

I don't want her to think that we're homeschooling her because we're scared of bullies, or scared of bad teachers, or scared that she will turn out bad if we're not constantly beside her. I don't want her to be scared, or to instill any fear in her (other than fear of the Lord).

I want Lily to have friends.

She is so soft spoken, and it takes her a while to really open up. I would imagine it would be a lot harder to make friends with kids you only see once in a while, rather than kids you see every day.

I want Lily to have exposure to fun extra-curricular activities.

Music, art, P.E., etc. - I would just be very limited by my own abilities and resources. What I would be able to provide just wouldn't be the same as singing in a choir, learning to paint from someone who actually knows how to paint, or even just playing dodgeball with a whole class full of kids.

I want Lily to feel friendly competition.

Spelling bees, science fairs, talent shows, etc. I think learning to win and learning to lose are important lessons (and not just in games).

I want Lily to know that she can make a positive difference in the lives of others.

One of the benefits of public school is the diversity of people that you see. She will meet kids who are poor. Kids with bad family lives. Kids of other races and religions. Kids who are handicapped. Kids who are learning disabled. This allows her the opportunity to interact with them, to be a friend, and to make a positive impact. I know that I can take her to volunteer somewhere, but it's not the same as living out relationships on a daily basis and knowing that you made someone's life a little brighter.

I don't want Lily to feel trapped.

The thought of staying with my mom (even as a kid) every hour of every day sends shivers up my spine - and I love my mama - she's my best friend. I just don't want Lily to feel like that. I don't want her to feel stuck under my thumb.

I don't want a chaotic life.

Sometimes I feel like I'm barely keeping it together already. I don't know how I'm going to manage with the baby too.

I don't know if I have the perseverance.

What if I decide I'm done, I can't handle it, it's not working, but it's the middle of the school year? OR what if I get slack with her school? What if I let something important slip through the cracks? It's a lot of pressure.

I don't know if it's fair to condemn the school system without trying it.

Condemn is a strong word. I guess I meant that I don't know if it's fair to forgo public school without trying it.

I want Lily to find her place in the world outside of our family.

I don't mean I want to throw her to the wolves and make her own way, but I want her to find her niche. Unfortunately in this ugly world, kids can't roam the neighborhood and the forest to explore and play anymore like they did in the past. Public school offers a relatively safe place to experience life apart from mom.

I want Lily to be happy
I wish I had a crystal ball, but I know the Lord just wants me to come to him and trust in his plan, wherever that may lead me and my family.




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elliemaejune View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote elliemaejune Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14/Dec/2012 at 11:33am
Originally posted by kristanashley kristanashley wrote:

First of all, I want to apologize if my post rubbed you the wrong way - I didn't mean to sound offensive. Let me clarify.

You didn't rub me the wrong way. :-)

Quote I don't want Lily to feel like an outsider.

All of her cousins and neighborhood friends will be public schoolers. Most kids' books and movies revolve around school. I just don't want her to feel like she's on the outside looking in when she's with her cousins or neighbors. She already loves the idea of school and I don't want her to feel like she's missing something.

You may be making a bigger issue of this than it will really be. Remember that there are *millions* of homeschooled children today. :-) And no matter what you do, she may still feel like she's missing *something.*

Quote I don't want Lily to think she is better than other kids.

I know that this mostly depends on me and what I teach my kids - but I have met a lot of homeschoolers (mostly homeschool parents) who feel that they are more intelligent, more moralistic, and all around superior to the public school kids, who are all mindless sheep with ambitions that extend only to how many facebook friends  they have. (I have actually heard that just about verbatim).

That they behave badly doesn't mean that you have to. :-)

Quote I don't want Lily to fear the world.

I don't want her to think that we're homeschooling her because we're scared of bullies, or scared of bad teachers, or scared that she will turn out bad if we're not constantly beside her. I don't want her to be scared, or to instill any fear in her (other than fear of the Lord).

One-on-one instruction trumps classroom instruction. All professional educators will tell you this. So if you don't say that you're homeschooling because you're afraid of bad teachers or bullies, then she won't be afraid.

Quote I want Lily to have friends.

She is so soft spoken, and it takes her a while to really open up. I would imagine it would be a lot harder to make friends with kids you only see once in a while, rather than kids you see every day.

Spending all her time in a classroom situation will not--I repeat, will NOT--guarantee that she'll make actual *friends.*

Quote I want Lily to have exposure to fun extra-curricular activities.

Music, art, P.E., etc. - I would just be very limited by my own abilities and resources. What I would be able to provide just wouldn't be the same as singing in a choir, learning to paint from someone who actually knows how to paint, or even just playing dodgeball with a whole class full of kids.

Having those things may not justify the classroom experience. OTOH, there are many homeschool support groups which do those things together.

Quote I want Lily to feel friendly competition.

Spelling bees, science fairs, talent shows, etc. I think learning to win and learning to lose are important lessons (and not just in games).

They may be important lessons, but the truth is that not all children in public (or private) schools get to do spelling bees, science fairs, talent shows, etc. I did not. OTOH, my children participated in spelling bees and science fairs with other homeschoolers; we didn't do any kind of talent shows, but both my dc did participate in "friendly competition" in their 4-H, Camp Fire, and Highland dance groups. Again, all things considered, choosing public school for the sake of the *possibility* of doing spelling bees and whatnot...well, in your head, they would be fun, but they shouldn't be a big factor in the decision.

Quote I want Lily to know that she can make a positive difference in the lives of others.

One of the benefits of public school is the diversity of people that you see. She will meet kids who are poor. Kids with bad family lives. Kids of other races and religions. Kids who are handicapped. Kids who are learning disabled. This allows her the opportunity to interact with them, to be a friend, and to make a positive impact. I know that I can take her to volunteer somewhere, but it's not the same as living out relationships on a daily basis and knowing that you made someone's life a little brighter.

Why do you imagine that homeschoolers don't meet a diversity of people???

Quote I don't want Lily to feel trapped.

The thought of staying with my mom (even as a kid) every hour of every day sends shivers up my spine - and I love my mama - she's my best friend. I just don't want Lily to feel like that. I don't want her to feel stuck under my thumb

.

Huh. Well, just because you have that kind of relationship with your mother doesn't mean that Lily will feel the same way. In fact, I believe that God intended parents to be the most important, influential people in their children's lives--not classroom teachers, not the other children at school.

Quote I don't want a chaotic life.

Sometimes I feel like I'm barely keeping it together already. I don't know how I'm going to manage with the baby too.

I understand this. But homeschooling isn't chaotic. And you'll learn to handle everything. I promise. :-)

Quote I don't know if I have the perseverance.

What if I decide I'm done, I can't handle it, it's not working, but it's the middle of the school year? OR what if I get slack with her school? What if I let something important slip through the cracks? It's a lot of pressure.

Well, you might not be able to handle it. If not, you can send her to school. Most of us can, though. And define "slack." You care about her education, and you'll see that she is educated, even if what you do on a daily basis doesn't always look like school. You won't forget anything important, either. "Oh, drat! I forgot to teach my dc how to read!! What will I do now?" LOL

Quote I don't know if it's fair to condemn the school system without trying it.

Condemn is a strong word. I guess I meant that I don't know if it's fair to forgo public school without trying it.

Why? Why should school be the default? Why shouldn't homeschooling be the default?

Quote I want Lily to find her place in the world outside of our family.

I don't mean I want to throw her to the wolves and make her own way, but I want her to find her niche. Unfortunately in this ugly world, kids can't roam the neighborhood and the forest to explore and play anymore like they did in the past. Public school offers a relatively safe place to experience life apart from mom.

I understand that you didn't mean throwing her to the wolves. But a young child needs to be with her mother for many, many years, so that she can have the skills to face the world. And since when has school been a "relatively safe place"? Really?

Quote I want Lily to be happy
I wish I had a crystal ball, but I know the Lord just wants me to come to him and trust in his plan, wherever that may lead me and my family.


We all want that. :-)

I believe that part of God's plan is that He gives us authority to decide things like how our children should be educated. IOW, you can choose either a classroom-based education or  homeschooling. Either one would be His plan for you.
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runninmama3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote runninmama3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18/Dec/2012 at 6:30am
I can relate to your list and my kids are currently in public school but we are considering homeschooling at this point for next year. My oldest who is 16 will continue in public school and for him it worked well. My two youngest are in 3rd and 5th grade and both love school but as a former educator I have noticed, at least in Texas, that more and more time is spent on benchmark testing and state mandated testing. We have never had a terrible teacher and all of my children are "A" so on an educational level I they are doing fine and they do have plenty of friends but none of my children are shy so that would happen no matter what I chose. My dd keeps asking to be home schooled like many of her friends that she is with at the community theater where she performs so don't let the fear of your child not finding friends because home schooling is growing and there are groups and co-ops in most areas. I would strongly suggest visiting both the public school your child would attend and finding a home school support group in the area to talk to. Both will try to convince you their way is right so don't be swayed by the more charismatic speaker but listen and pray about what is best. You can always change your decision later if one or the other doesn't work out.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mindy8 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05/Jan/2013 at 7:26pm
I agree - check out the school your daughter would attend and definitely check out your homeschooling options.  You might be surprised at the resources and groups available.  It might even change some of your concerns.  Also research to see what style of teaching you would like to do.  Homeschooling really is what you make of it.  My family does tons of activities and create our own co ops and field trips.  The options are nearly endless. Good luck
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