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Topic ClosedHelp need, my child doesn’t like school!

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edehlerm View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Help need, my child doesn’t like school!
    Posted: 11/Mar/2011 at 11:04am

So, where do I start.  I have a 2nd grade son that i have been Homeschooling since October.  For Kindergarten and 1st grade I lived in VA.  He had some problems in 1st grade because he would NOT do his work.  His teacher had him tested because she thought maybe he was LD.  Well, he's not and he tested well.  He just didn't want to do the work. We stayed on him as much a possible.  I worked full time and Homeschooling was not an option.

I now live in WV.  We started my son in school and realized that they were quite a bit behind.  He also still had issues about not completeing his work.  So, in Oct he was pulled out and I began to Homeschool.  I started out a little rocky then it improved and was going great, but now its a struggle.  He has always disliked reading and now I feel he is a bit behind on Reading.  Its a fight to get him to do his work. He says he hates school but he also says he likes Homeschool better that PS. We do have some good days but they are few.  I make sure I reward on the good days.  I try to give him breaks as much as I can.  We keep changing things around to try to make it better.  We have been giving him the opportunity to create a schedule but its not working.   Any suggestions out there?  I feel like I have tried so many things.

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Rene View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11/Mar/2011 at 10:03pm
You said your son is now behind on reading. What
curriculum have you been using to teach him reading?
What did they use in the PS. Does he have a good phonics
base for reading. I'm a reading specialist and I find
that when kids start saying they don't like school,
especially this young, it is because they can't really
read.

Does he seem to guess at the words a lot? Does he
struggle through this? So much of schooling is reading
that if he is struggling with this, then all the subjects
will be affected.

I would suggest getting a good sequential, systematics
phonics program. The one I use with most of my students
starting out (unless they are 4th grade and above) is
Explode the Code.

I made the offer the other day to someone on the forum
that if they wanted a simple test to do to see what
sounds your child knows, I would send it to you (no
charge). You can private message me with your
information. I can try to scan it and e-mail it to you
or can fax it to you.

There are other programs out there based on the Orton
Gillingham method (the sequential, systematic phonics)
but some speed the process up by introducing too many
sounds at once.

Explode the Code also has decodable books. This means
what is written in the books has already been introduced
in the phonics lesson and all words are readable.

Another book series is Primary Phonics (Very easy. I
usually use this with K-1st graders.) Recipe for Reading
is in between Explode the Code and Primary Phonics.

This test basically showing your son all the different
letters and letter combination and vowel combinations in
isolation. Have him tell you what that letter or letter
combination says and you will know what he needs to
learn. For instance if you show the letter s and he
doesn't know it than you need to teach him the sound as
well as the letter. If you show him the letters oe and
he says o (on) and e (as in egg), then you know he
doesn't understand that 2 vowel together work as one
sound.

Hope this helps you. I wouldn't push too hard right now.
You don't want him to HATE SCHOOL forever. Try to do
educational learning games. Do things with him where is
is learning but doesn't realize it.

Rene
READING: The Cornerstone to Success
http://learning-disabilities-reading-tutor.com
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LauraH View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12/Mar/2011 at 1:40pm
The online version of ETC might be just the thing for your son. Kids enjoy it because they can earn rewards and so on, so for them it's like playing a computer game.
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elliemaejune View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12/Mar/2011 at 7:28pm

I need more information.

It would be helpful if we knew what you're using to teach.

WVA law requires a little more oversight than some states, which, sadly, dictates to a certain extent what kinds of things you might do during the year. Do you know whether you'll do standardized testing or a portfolio review at the end of the year?

Are you still working full time?

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HistoryMom View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13/Mar/2011 at 10:27am


When I hear a situation described like yours, I tend to think that the child may be a right brained learner. They have a different time table than the typical school scope and sequence particularly in reading and writing. If you want to learn more, check out my lens here:
http://www.squidoo.com/Right_Brained_Learner
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13/Mar/2011 at 7:32pm

Thanks for all the input!

Yes, WV does require more oversite.  We are doing the Standardized testing at the end of the year. 

I am currently using A beka workbooks.  I use Scott Foresman Science.  I really like the programs I am using and i see some improvement but, I really hope he starts to enjoy learning!  He is a smart kid. 

ee

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13/Mar/2011 at 8:41pm

Well, since you asked, I would say that (1) a child so young is not capable of creating his schedule to make himself happy; (2) that you are fighting with him on a daily basis is a bad sign. Now that I know you're using ABeka, my first recommendation would be...to use almost anything else. I know that you say you've seen "some improvement," and that *you* like ABeka, but clearly he does not, and you have to take that into consideration.

Although generally speaking ABeka's phonics/reading is pretty decent, if you think your ds is not where he should be, my recommendation would be...something else. There are a number of excellent methods and materials available which work better in a homeschool setting than ABeka does. PhonicsPathways, AlphaPhonics, even Victory Drill Book are better, IMHO, at home than ABeka. My favorite, most comprehensive reading/spelling/almost-everything-for-literacy method is Spalding. It does everything in one fell swoop: penmanship, reading, spelling, capitalization and punctuation, and simple composition. You use real books instead of readers, and it's very flexible.

For a 7yo, you could do history with library, field trips, and educational DVDs/Internet. Ditto with science. And it would be enjoyable as well as educational.

I haven't used or reviewed Scott Foresman in many years, so I have no comment on that.

I don't think it's realistic to expect children to enjoy learning by having to use school textbooks/workbooks. Really. And when a child comes home from school, especially if school was a bad experience, there's a period of adjustment that could take many months to heal what was broken before.

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edehlerm View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14/Mar/2011 at 7:42am

EllieMaeJune,

Thanks so much for your input! I will look into these other programs!

I do have a question for you.  I think a while back i read a post from you in which it seemed that you were not a big fan of A Beka.  If true could I ask why.  The only reason I went with A Beka is because I met a group Homeschoolers and that is what was used.  I am so new to this that I need all the info I can get.  I do like the "one stop shopping" that A Beka provided initially.  I was easy to just go  to the web site find what I needed for a 2nd grader and buy.  Now I really don't know what to do for 3rd grade.  I guess my other worry is this end of the year testing so, I wanted to get the workbooks to make sure i got everything in for the test!  Anymore help would be great.

I went with Scott Foresman Science because I moved from Virginia Beach and that was the Science taught there.  I wanted a more well rounded Science than what A Beka had to offer.  Science has always been something that intrests my ds.  I would recommend it to anyone!  Thanks again, ee

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14/Mar/2011 at 1:28pm

I know your experience is why many baby homeschoolers choose ABeka, and I understand completely. I also know that WV gives less wiggle room than some states regarding the annual testing, and that it's a concern.

ABeka is on the extreme end of overkill. It is why *many* baby homeschoolers burn themselves out (or their children), sometimes in less than a year (I could take myself out to lunch if I had a nickle for every baby homeschooler who threw in the towel by Christmas of their first year). People who use other materials tend to say, "Wow, that was a really bad choice! I'll use something else next year."

I still recommend Spalding for all the literacy-related skills. I promise you'll be amazed at your ds's improvement.

You might check into something like KONOS, which does everything except English and math skills by studying godly character traits; or Beautiful Feet Books, which is history using good trade books instead of workbooks/textbooks; or Prairie Primer, which is a unit study based on the Little House books (yes, little boys still enjoy it); or Mystery of History, which is a classical, chronological approach to teaching history.

Just some suggestions.

You should also look for homeschooling conventions near-by, where you'd get tons o' ideas, way more than ABeka (or even textbooks in general). Homeschoolers are pretty bright people. They write their own stuff now.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14/Mar/2011 at 3:01pm


I second the convention suggestion. there you will see a lot more options. Especially helpful to find others who have used a less schoolish approach and still met the WV standards.

here is one convention:
http://www.chewv.org/

here is a page with some elists:
http://www.leapingfromthebox.com/hs/elists/westvirginia.html

Here is one option you may want to consider that often appeals to unmotivated learners:
http://www.time4learning.com/homeschool/homeschooling_in_wes t_virginia.shtml

I have to say that I find the same thing that Ellie does - that Abeka is often an easy first choice but it has a high burn out rate. keep in mind that most of the materials are at least a year ahead of public schools.  So he may be doing better than you think.

One other suggestion. If the testing is a worry, you can always test him now with whatever test will be used and see where he is below whatever you need him to be for the requirements. Again, he may be doing better than you think. Or you may find that he needs help with simple test taking skills. In homeschooling, testing is not a do or die thing as in public schools. Do whatever it takes to get him past that!
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edehlerm View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14/Mar/2011 at 4:14pm

WOW!  THANKS to the BOTH of U!  Its funny because the people I talked to in my area, have only been homeschooling for a few years and A Beka is just what they started with. 

    I think beacuse of the WV laws,  everyone I talked to so far maybe afraid to sway too much in the wrong direction or their child may fail the TEST!  I have decreased the homeschool tests a little on my own.  Once I know he knows the content I'm happy.  We still test in Math though.  I feel i need to test some due to the fact that he will be faced with this big TEST at the end of the year. 

Well, this gives me several things to think about and look at for next year.  I kind fo feel like I am doing all over again ugh  but, it will be worth it.   Again I thank you for all your help and I am sure my son would thank you too!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14/Mar/2011 at 5:42pm
Originally posted by edehlerm edehlerm wrote:

WOW!  THANKS to the BOTH of U!  Its funny because the people I talked to in my area, have only been homeschooling for a few years and A Beka is just what they started with. 

See? Young homeschoolers, started with ABeka. My best guess--and I have been known to be wrong--is that many people start with ABeka because they took their dc out of Christian schools that used ABeka, so they figure it must be good or the school wouldn't use it (but hello--there are reasons you're taking your dc OUT of that school! and also, as you said, it is easy to order: just go down the list and check off what you need).

Quote I think beacuse of the WV laws,  everyone I talked to so far maybe afraid to sway too much in the wrong direction or their child may fail the TEST! 

I'm sure that's it. WV requires a higher on score on the standardized tests than most other states (some states which require testing don't require parents to even turn in the tests, which is, like, so weird), and penalties kick in if the dc don't test where they should. That many dc were doing much poorer in public schools but public schools can get away with it seems to be irrelevant.

That doesn't mean, though, that you have to emulate what the schools do (and why would you want to? If your ds were doing well there, we wouldn't be having this conversation!). Following the scope and sequence of a publisher who doesn't know your dc from Adam's cat can actually keep him from doing better because you'll be holding him back; similarly, he could need help in something that isn't being addressed by the publisher at all.

Quote I have decreased the homeschool tests a little on my own. Once I know he knows the content I'm happy.

Quote Good. .  We still test in Math though.  I feel i need to test some due to the fact that he will be faced with this big TEST at the end of the year. 

I understand.

Quote Well, this gives me several things to think about and look at for next year.  I kind fo feel like I am doing all over again ugh  but, it will be worth it.   Again I thank you for all your help and I am sure my son would thank you too!

You're both welcome.

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